you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
