I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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