did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
