i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
