I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
