yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
