I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
