i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
