all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
