Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
