Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
