guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize