well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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