Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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