So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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