It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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