Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
