Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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