physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
True strength comes from lack of pants
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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