There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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