All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
