So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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