Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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