so that wasnt chicken after all
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
