he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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