you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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