don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The uberlube is also flammable
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
