Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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