Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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