I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
