Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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