Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
