Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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