Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
