I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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