Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
