I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
