I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
