I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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