we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
