I wish I could teleport
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
