when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
