Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
