Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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