Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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