Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
