drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
