We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
