I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
