arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
