this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
