She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
