I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
