can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
