at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
