ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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