Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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