He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
