i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
