dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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