I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Couch. On fire.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
