I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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