i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Randomize
